Happy New Year!

I might be late for this post but I'm sure some of us still have some holiday hungover eh?

So how did you spend New year's eve?

As for me, I didn't spend it in Jaildah or above 35,000 ft or in a fancy hotel. I spent New Year's eve in a place very special to my heart, I spent it at home. Yes, I've been meaning to broadcast to the world that I'll be able to go home for New year's celebration since the day I knew it. But I've thought it would be happier if I'd surprise my family. Teehee.

Going home is always heartwarming for me. Imagine my Papa and Mama crying the moment they saw me standing in front of them. It was priceless.

I was very happy to be home. I really needed that time off from everything. I have been really blessed and favoured by God this 2012. I have been to some beautiful places I've never imagined I would set foot to. I've done some ridiculous things I'm not quite proud of but I've survived and now I'm wiser and better. I've learned a lot, spent a lot and even though I have my own lot now I know I have to save a lot. Okay that's too many lot's in one sentence. Haha.

This year has been AMAZING and it's all because of God's will. Looking back now at this first few days of 2013 I'm just really thankful for God for his 365 days of blessings. And that he granted my only wish before the year ends, to be with my family.

I guess it's a good start of 2013 for me.

And yes, I am now engaged to the love of my life.

Where did two years go?

Yes, I'm still alive. I'm still here.

So what happened? It's a cliche but what can I do when my crazy life got in the way.

I've done a lot of reading instead of writing. A lot of travelling (and some shopping on the side), dreams turned into reality, realizations, weighed out priorities, change of plans and a whole lot more. 2 years and just like that! Wow!

When I just started flying, I gave myself a deadline on this job. I told myself two years is enough. Two years of travelling the world and exploring life above and under 36,00 feet is enough. And so I thought.

The reason for the deadline is to pursue my first love, which is media. Growing up, I've never imagined myself as a beauty queen or a flight attendant like most girls would dream of. I just wanted to be in front of the TV delivering the news. I was a happy girl during my college days. I didn't care about eyebags, sleepless nights and being broke because of production expenses. The adrenaline rush of live production thrills me. Deadlines make me creative and I can say I beat most of it. I really, really love writing. And I felt I was born for it.

After college I thought I needed a break. Like a couple wanting some space to find his/herself. I think I grew tired of finding bad news everyday to sell. I felt weary and old while typing articles on my laptop. I felt the need of doing something new and liberating. Something that is not me.

I have a cousin who's working as a FA and I always admire and love her pictures exploring the world. I've thought it would be great to work and see the world at the same time. And I've asked myself, why not? Why not take a detour for some time and come back to media.

The rest is history and after two years, I'm kinda sad that I'm still here. Sad because now I think that I might have just fancied myself as a writer. I think I've lost the rigor in me during my freshmen years . I think I no longer see myself fit for media. I think I've lost a part of me that was the real me. Part of me wants to quit my work here and try again my luck in media. Fight. But my other half is thinking the most practical way of living. Flight.

I really enjoy my job. I have learned to love and appreciate it. I meet new people everyday. New encounters, new scenarios and I'm not limited from the 9-5 job. The most important thing is I get to travel and if I give up this right now I'm not sure if I'm ready to stop seeing the world's beauty.

I also realized from my previous post that I haven't accomplished much of my to do list as I turned 22. I  turned a year older but I wasn't able to buy my own car and get a driver's license.I won't be able to find a career fallback because I'm considering to stay here a little longer. And the worst is I have no savings, seriously!

Better things happened instead. Up to now I still can't believe I bought a house and lot. I have my own house and lot. My very own. Okay I'll stop now. I was able to set foot on US and UK which I really dreamed of. And I think I became a better person! Haha!

I remember my professor's reaction way back in college when she found out what the heck I'm doing with my life now. "Actually, if I was as brave and passionate as you when i was your age, I might have done the same thing! ha ha. Would have loved to travel around the world all the time too." She was my favorite professor and I look up to her skills not just in teaching but her journalist's instinct as well. And her having said that meant a lot to me. And I think I still have it.

I have been blessed and favoured for the past two years and I am always grateful and thankful for the love He has given to me. I guess God put me here for a reason. I haven't realized the purpose yet so I guess I'll fly until I find out why.

The birthday post

I am about to face another year in my life in just a few moment. And here are the goals for the past year that I have accomplished and I haven’t.

At 21…

1. I had finished college.

2. I got published thrice, in a nationwide magazine.

3. I had landed a job after graduation.

4. I had landed a job abroad before the year 2010 ended.

5. I ‘managed’ to be independent while I live alone and far away from my family.

6. I had ‘learned’ to sleep alone (but still with the lights on)

7. I had ‘learned’ to do my laundry (with the help of washing machine)

8. My current net worth amounts to more than 7 times of my previous salary.

9. I am travelling around the world. I get to work and see the world all at once. J

10. I had ‘learned’ to eat eggplant.

At 21…

1. I haven’t gotten a permanent savings account! I kept on opening and closing, opening and closing an account. As I go home this month, I have to have a permanent savings account. Really!

2. I wasn’t able to finish 12 books in 12 months. Boo!

3. I did not spend Christmas and New Year with my family and le boyfriend. L But I’m spending the holy week with them anyway!

4. There are still credits to pay!!!

5. I stopped exercising.

Now, as I turn 22, here’s my bucket list that I will turn into reality.

1. Increase my savings amounting to six-digits! Yes, let’s get it on! Goodbye shopping! Partly! :P

2. Buy my own car, with my own money.

3. Drive my own car, which means getting a driver’s license.

4. Think of a business, and save capital for it.

5. Find a good career fallback after December 2012.

6. To visit US and UK J

7. To buy two books every payday and to finish reading it all in a year.

8. To extend help in whatever form it may be

9. To increase domestic travels! Explore Philippines!

10. To be a better person.

The last one sounds poetic, yes, but don’t scratch it. Who wants to get worse every year of his life eh?

I am truly blessed for the past year and I believe that without God’s guidance, I couldn’t have been to where I am right now to begin with. So to Him, I offer all my praise and worship.

I have only one birthday wish, please always keep my family and my love ones safe, healthy, away from any sickness, accidents, and misfortune. Please fill their hearts with love, peace, and happiness. For that, I am truly grateful.

I am now 22, cheers! J

I owe my blog so many posts already

My apologies for neglecting my blog as if it died a natural death. Oh well, I’m sorry.

So here are the deets of how I went from jolly-molly to MIA. When I last scribbled my thoughts here, see this, I was in shock. Have you ever felt confused and coward to move forward when the moment you’ve waited for so long just landed in front of your doorstep? If you haven’t, God bless you, but if you had you might get my drift

Hesitant and halfhearted for my sudden departure, I packed my bags and left my heart in Dasma.

It’s been four months now since I left my great life in Manila. Yes, I’m now a flight attendant living somewhere in the Kingdom of the Middle East. I’m already done with my training and I’m up in the air almost every day. Well, I was supposed to post this during my training but due to my crazy schedule, it never happened ;p. But if you ask me how it was, twas one of the craziest roller coaster ride of my life.

Being away and living away from my family is crazy. Living in a flat with people I barely know is crazy. Doing house chores I’ve never done myself before is crazy. Waking up every morning to put on my make-up and don the FA’s uniform is crazy. Training myself to be poised and confident is way crazy from the klutz that I am. Okay, to sum it up I’ve been crazy and mad for the first four months. Hee.

Everything now is different. Even my choices on what to buy for groceries and what to cook for dinner make for a difference. No one is responsible for myself now but me. No one will look after me, only me.

On the brighter side I am learning. I am getting used to the ropes and I am establishing myself here in the dessert. I am learning to cope up with different people, from different cultures. I am helping myself to be stronger, tougher and wiser.

Even though life here is hard for me and I’m still adjusting, I know everything will fall in its place soo, in God’s will, in Shaala.

Bye for now, I have a flight to catch and I’m back to base later. Will post more blogs soon. J

OMG

Am I really leaving today? :(

I dunno but, what should you feel, when the time you have waited so much has arrived in a snap of a finger?

Oh Lord, what you will let it be so. Where you will there will I go. What is your will help m to know.

Wake me up when September ends

It's just a couple of hours and September will vanish in thin air. How time flies. It's the last day of the month so I might as well create my September '10- ender blog.

Here's a wrap up of my September:

1. I waited in vain. And still I am! Oh, maybe my patience is being pushed to the wall. Or perhaps God thinks I'm not ready yet for 'that'. Oh well, He's given me the blessing in an unexpected way and maybe 'that time' will come the same way I didn't see it coming. Oh Dear God, just let it be :)

2. Work was okay. For this month work has been nothing good, nothing bad. I have had so many thoughts of leaving work because first; I grew weary of waking up very early, pulling myself out of the bed and commuting all the way to Manila, second; I wanted to rest before the day of the departure comes (but I'm still waiting when would it be) and third; the pay is unfortunate.

3. In the contrary, I'm into business! Hooray! I've discovered I could earn more and add up on my measly pay by doing business! I'll save up in the future because I don't want to be an employee forever. Franchise will do me good in my retirement. Jollibee? Salon and Spa? 7-eleven? I am quite sure my life will be a tad easier by that time though I'll definitely have to work my ass for the franchise cost eh?

4. I miss media. Some of my college and closest friends are starting their work in media firms right now, and I'm happy for them. Two of my friends texted me today, asking for support on their work. One said her very first story will be aired in national TV and the other told me her article will be published in national newspaper. Isn't that amazing? To be honest I felt a little envy and a quick thump on my heart. I miss media. I miss writing. I miss the adrenalin rush of deadlines, productions, scriptwriting, editing and tons of articles to work on. But I I did not feel the envy as if I wanted to cry my heart out for not being able to work in media. I did not feel the envy as if I felt insecure and left out. I felt encouraged and inspired. One day, I'm going back and be a cut-throat bitch in my 25's. One day, I'll be back and prove that the blood of a writer still runs in my warm blood. I am capable, I am, I can and I will.

5. My life has become more amazing! Sometimes a positive and an energetic attitude can attract good vibes of the universe. I dunno but in some little ways, I feel alive because of what's happening in my life right now. I guess it's just the state of the mind which provides me fulfillment. Attitude is everything.

I hope everyone had a good September. So much for this month. You had been fair to me. Thanks September! 'Til next year then! Ciao!

The typhoon which brought us love

September 28, 2006.

It was exactly four years ago. Four years ago when Yok and I first set eyes on each other.

I was soaked in the rain, with my gold satin gown and washed-up face from the pour. Yok Han was inside the church, anxious and nervous perhaps, ;p waiting for the moment we're about to see each other.

September 28, 2010.

Four years after. Remembering how typhoon Milenyo swept 'that wedding' with rain as well as swept off our feet to each other; today's the first time Yok held my hand, today's the first moment Yok kissed my cheeks and today's the first chance Yok told me in the eye that he love me and adore me.

Today's the day we braved typhoon Milenyo and faced God with our love. It was four years after this very day, we walked down the aisle with so much love in our heart and so much passion in our mind that we asked Him to bless us and guide us throughout the years to come.

Happy fourth year of togetherness my Yok Han! Happy fourth year anniversary of 'that wedding'. I love you to the core.

Forgive me if I could not put pictures of how we first met.
Friendster's so dead.
To see two people crazy, madly, and deeply
in love with each other, click here, and here. Hee!

What keeps me busy?

Not being around to blog doesn't mean I already neglected this site. I'm busy-- soo busy reading different blogs of my friends, acquaintances, people I don't personally know and I've just known through blogging. And guess what? It's keeping me up the whole night I sometimes forgot I have to wake up in the wee hours in the morning to push my ass to work.

Oh, there's just so many good reads in the blogosphere. From fashion, to beauty, family, travels, and everything up in the sky...I always learn something new every time I read someone's blog. As of now I just enjoy reading around but I'll probably post something worthy anytime soon!

Read, read, and read! :)

Gimme back my Sundays!

Day 9 of the 60-day blog challenge.

See, I enjoy my job. Time flies so fast. Adrenaline rush drives me to go beyond my limit. I meet a lot of people from different places all over the world everyday. I wake up, work, eat, go home, and work doesn't follow me nor bothers me when I'm around the house.

Perhaps the only thing I don't like about my work is that I work every weekends. I take my off at work every weekdays. Mondays to be exact. Sometimes, I feel sad that everyone is in their house taking their day's off in a Sabbath day while I have to get up from my sweet slumber and work my ass off. Boo.

Today, I spent my Sunday, well of course at work, and went to mass in the evening with Papa, Ate Ghelai, Sherwin, and their adorable kid Shannen. I was so sleepy and dizzy but I was the one who suggested Pop to go to the church so I have to walk my talk no matter what. Besides, I was having a bad day at work and I figured it's the exact place to go for my retreat. Plus, I owe Him lots of thank you prayers.

I miss my Sundays. There's a lot of things I used to do before, especially during Sundays. I used to have so much time during weekends. Sunday is a family day. When we were young and whinny, my parents used to take us to the church every Sunday and have dinner at Jollibee or McDonalds after wards.

When we were still in Manila, we used to go to a very cozy pancake house (it's beside Sta. Cruz church) after the mass where I play with the statue horses while I lick maple syrup on my fingers. I miss my childhood days when my parents used to have more time for us. I guess the more you grow up and the more responsibilities you have, the less time for pleasure or even some time off from serious stuff. Since my parents started paying college tuition, we seldom go to church.

Back to my hullabaloo, after church we ordered food in McDonalds and took it to eat at home. Today was a bitter sweet day. Again, thank you God for the blessing. I wish you'll add more blessing by giving back my weekends' off. Or I just have to wait until the end of the month for a whole week of rest in preparation for 'that'. :)

Now, I'm off to hug my bed. Good night everyone. Sweet dreams. Don't let the bed bugs bite. Zzzzz.

Wisdom for today

Day 6 of the 60-day blog challenge.

It's the first weekend of the month. Hooray! I wasn't crossed to SQ today so after our flight, I headed to the lounge to knock off. I could not sleep. Good thing I brought my sister's stash of magazines from home and decided to read it as I was killing time.

While reading, I felt like I hit a sore spot. Yes. Yes. Yes. I miss the magazine. I miss working for Cosmo. I miss my creative juices working for OK! I miss the Summit Media office. I miss my editors most especially in OK! mag.

See, I have a problem. I'm a graduate of broadcast journalism. I have dreams of swinging the ropes of media, may it be in TV, radio, or magazine. I have always pictured myself working for it. But after graduation, I wanted to take some time off. I wanted to take a break because I felt like I grew tired of writing. I felt like my eye bags grew tired of my sleepless nights due to productions and editing. I felt like my body grew tired of the stress, the deadlines, and demanding production matters. And so I took a detour. But I know that deep inside my heart of hearts, writing still runs in my blood.

Maybe I'm just not into it, right now. Like a man who's been loyal to his first love but felt something like he's never experienced before, with another woman.

As what I was saying, I stumbled upon a magnificent wisdom while reading. And it perfectly defines what shall I do and feel about my present condition.

As my editor in my OJT days put it, "We encourage you to own the changes in your life- bitter or sweet- and use them to make your life more amazing. We believe in the power of makeovers. They can pluck you out of being boring, depressed, or ordinary, and make you fun, fearless, and fantastic."

I was really inspired with this part. To be honest, I am indifferent to where I am right now. I am somewhere in between of sad and happy but not as lovely as what I felt when I was in media. However, I won't let my sadness eat my abilities. I'll make this change work for me. I'll make myself a best person out of this work, which I neither love or hate. I'll make this work to make myself amazing, fun, fearless, and fantastic.


Here's to all fantastic women who can pull everything off despite and inspite of!

Ouch!

Day 5 of the 60-day blog challenge.

Today is not my day, I'd like to say so. Here's a series of unfortunate events that happened to me today.

1. I didn't hear my alarm clock went off hence I arrived late at work.

2. I fell off the bus. As in literally, I stepped on the wrong stair as I get off the bus and then, boom, I fell. With my elbows on the floor, I stood up and said "I'm okay, I'm okay." And then I quietly walk inside the airport. That's a great way to start my day. Gah.

3. "That depressing news". I hope I can achieve my goal one day. I just thrive in the idea that God has better plans in store for me. Patience. Hope, dear.

4. I conditioned myself to eat ice cream after lunch. I was yearning for it. I fell in line for the ice cream and just when it was my turn, there were no ice cream on the stands. I was in front of the line and there was none left. No more.

5. I left my umbrella at home. And it was raining this afternoon. You already know what happened next.

6. As I arrived home, Papa was mad. He was a lose cannon. His blood pressure skyrocketed again because he was worried of me. Yep, I'll always be a baby. I did not say a word. I let him cool down.

7. I'm tired. Working but underpaid. All bruised up. Fat. Frustrated. And worst, broke.

Oh well, it's true that when it rains, it pours. Good night. I hope to see the rainbow tomorrow when I wake up.

Bring it on: The 60-day blog challenge

Aside from mandatory tasks and college education, I've never finished something I've actually planned to accomplish. Like, finishing a novel. I actually had the title, the introduction, and the end of the story, but the connecting plot is still in the mountains. In fact I've never started anything out of sheer enthusiasm, like collecting a series of books and reading all of them, engaging myself in music for a long time, downloading movies and writing reviews about it and the like. I've never been a fan or an avid collector of sorts. And sometimes I feel not normal for not having such gusto for something. I admire my friend, Jayjay, who's an enthusiast of the reality show Survivor. He's such a fan of the show he memorizes by heart every character of each season. I reiterate, every person in every season including their personality, issues, dilemmas and who won or did not. I wish to be that kind of person one day.

Months ago before I started working, I've seen the movie Julie and Julia. A true to life film starred by two of my favorite Hollywood actresses, Meryl Streep and Amy Adams. The story is about Julie Powell, a blogger, who like I, would want to finish everything she has started. Julie is into cooking and her favorite cook was Julia Child, the pioneer of French cooking. She then decided to challenge herself and cook all of Julia's dish and blog it all off. She called it the Julie/Julia project. For 365 days, she will be cooking 365 dishes. And dis she ever!



I was inspired with that film and have thought, I can do that too! I've also been following a blog of my editor's (Yep, I spent my internship in publishing and Oh, I miss every moment of it) friend. She has this 30-day blog challenge and I must say, I was pretty inspired of the act.

And so, tan-ta-ra-ran...I am challenging myself to do a version of Julie Powell and NY minute's blog. Mine is, uhm, a 60-day blog challenge. A note to myself for the mechanics.

1. Do not open email or any social networking sites, not unless I'm finish writing my blog for the day.
2. Write according to my heart and brain.
3. Each topic should relate values. Okay this sounds really boring. Just write Anything from dusk 'til dawn. Period.
4. No complaining.
5. And lastly, never ever miss a day.


I'm really hoping to finish this, because if not. This just proves that I can't handle self-discipline. So help me God. Cross fingers. :)

Quick check

I've been through a lot lately. Work bullies, heart aches, trust issues, family problems and other personal stuff I dare not to write about. Two words. I'm exhausted.

It's like, reality slapped me on the face, burst my bubble and I, the gullible and vulnerable gal, was hurt, and too bad, I never saw it coming.

Work. Delayed flights. Hotac. Rebellious passengers. I was excited at first like a child holding her first barbecue. But gad, twas a day to endure and remember. Too many lessons learned that day. Too much points to ponder on. And the room is so big for improvement. I'll fire away.

Heart aches. I was hurt by the people I never expected would turn their backs on me, accused and prejudged me. Sigh. I don't want to remember every deets of it. What's important now is Jeff and I are together (yes, we've been on a rough road lately), and that's what counts. The fact that we have each other at this time that we're almost hitting rock bottom, we still have the world to hold on to.

Family. I can still put up with heart breaks but when my family is on the line, it's as if my heart will come off my chest with sadness. It's the first time my father has been rushed to the hospital. When I was told by my sister, my tears started to fall in a heartbeat. Tears kept running down my face while I'm on my way home from Mall of Asia to Cavite. When I saw Papa in the ER, I tried to be calm and refrained myself from crying. I tried to make the aura cool and fun by joking him. I'm glad Papa is recuperating well. Not so long after that, I was told that my uncle was rushed also in the ER. He had a mild stroke. Oh, it really pours when it rains. Uncle Globen is my favorite Uncle in the world. I remember how fun my childhood days were when he teases. Please, please, help my family dear God.

Oh, too many bad vibes. Shoo. shoo. shoo. I'll doze it all away. Good night. And beware of the bed bugs that bite.

Mondays are love.

Back in college, I use to hate Mondays because then, it signals the start of another crazy week of paper works and work loads, which means, sleepless nights and drained wallets. But today, Mondays are love, love, love for me. It's my rest day so I get to avoid a lot of things that other people hate in this first day of the week; the rush day of commuting, heavy traffic, people traffic and all that. Yeah, I get to avoid all of these. Hooray for me!

Anyways, work has been making me lose pounds and blood counts. I've got a part-time job since last week. I'm a private tutor to a Korean. The work is okay, since I teach 2 hours a day. But the nitty-gritty part is tiring; preparing lesson plans, making exams, and of course, studying the lessons I'm going to teach. Well, I'm not only after the pay but I also want my student to learn A LOT from me.

***

So, how to spend your rest day with a blast (and not be dead tired the next day)? Here's how?

1. Once you hit home, hit the sack.
2. After 15 hours of good night/morning sleep, start your day, still, on your bed.
3. Watch the replay of your favorite show, as for me, my favorite reality cooking show, the Top chef. Yeah, I make myself hungry with those meals.
4. After feasting my eyes (and starving myself) with sumptuous meals, I get up and eat home cooked meals, imagining those were foods cooked by the chefs. Hay, I wish I get to sit with the judges' table too. -_-
5. Bond with family. Watch a tear-jerker movie, like Toy Story 3.
6. Watch a feel-good TV show, like Glee.
7. Go to friend's house, invited or not. Lol. Friends make me soo happy. :)
8. Ask for a body massage, either from your Mom or your Dad. In my case it's always Mom :)
9. Spend time with the boyfriend.
10. End your day with a prayer.

My comfort song (as of the moment)

Because there's so much hate and death these days, here's what I listen to every time I want to punch a freak agent, a stingy passenger, a bad hair day, PMS, and times when I feel ugly, fat, and helpless.

This is actually not a new song. But I love how poetic and lyrical it was written. Sounds and feels surreal.

And because Charice Pempengco will be on Glee, come on sing with me.

*I dunno how to upload a video that is not in my hard drive. boo. Just follow the link! Cheers!

86/53

So I have a job. So I am working 8 hours a day. So I'm going to pay my taxes soon.

Somewhere in that"work" area I am indifferent. Indifferent that I am not happy nor sad to where I am now. I do enjoy the idea of it and make sure I am good at work but at the end of the day, there's nothing sparkling nor refreshing that makes me want to love what I'm doing.

Anyhoo, I don't want to think anything of it as of now. I just want to be grateful for everything. Period.

For the meantime, just random observation from work:

• Work is different. Everything's a first. Last Thursday was my first experience of a flight irregularity. The "all up" instruction was given to us after the aircraft was set for push back. As the boarding announcer, I was asked to send the passenger manifest to the immigration after my shift. On my way, I came across a lead agent and told us to go back to the gate. The aircraft is returning on the ramp. I was excited and curious as well to find out what's the reason. Bomb threat? Security reasons? Blah blah. The reason to be was a sick passenger. According to the agents, the passenger was chilling badly inside and the cabin crews sent her back to the gate for chec-up. According to the flight nurses, the pax appeared to have a fever before she checked-in. The pax was sent to the quarantine area, pulled out her baggage and her reservation. The filght was delayed.

• Customer service is love and hate in one stone. I tend to absorb the angst and anxiousness of the passengers. But since I serve them with a smile and a happy soul, I absorb compliments and love, love, love! There's just this one foreign pax, British, I think, old, alone, fat and hot-headed who slapped me in the face with the reality that I'm in the world of servants and they, who can pay, our are lords. I was in the BCO that morning, and he was in cue waiting for his turn. He is behind the two Filipinas who have excess baggage and I told them to repack. Our conversation lasted for around 5 minutes and when their luggage had the right weight, I let them in. When he's right in front of me, I greeted that fat man with a warm smile and he answered me back with a cold, bedroom voice. I checked his baggage, gave him name tags for it and ask him to fill it up. Then he just said in an awful and irritated voice, "Just put it there, too much fuss on everything." I didn't say a word because I was upset, really. I was doing my job and everything I ask the pax to do is necessary, mandated by the airline. I would like to explain this to that old fat man but decided to stay quiet in a heartbeat instead. I wish not to have that passengers in the next days. Boo.
  

• While observing the check-in counter, there was this couple, a doctor and his wife who were set to travel around Europe, base from their itinerary. I checked their visa and I read Schengen Statene, which means they can travel anywhere in Europe with that visa. I want to have that visa someday. And I want to do the same someday. Jeff and I, in our retiring age, traveling and exploring the world and falling in love all over again! Well, in order for that we must work our asses off! :)

• It's my first time to post about work here. Hee. I don't usually write everything about my life. I prefer some things to be private. You know, my life is not an open-book. :)

• I am still writing. Hooray. My 4-year course won't surely go past the drain because I still write. And I write for a magazine. Someday I'm going back to media, either TV, radio or, print. I sure am!

• Underpaid. Yes. I. am. The work and shift is quite okay and not stressful though. The pay is not bad for the kind of work I do. But I need to raise more moolah. I will love you if you can refer me to other part-time jobs. :)

• I'm on my way for that dream. I'm training for it. I'm praying for it. Hoping, that the universe will conspire to make it happen.

• On the bad note, because of work and bad sleeping habit, my blood pressure drops down to 86/53. And I'm so eating irons and steels the following days.

How about you, what's keeping you up all day?

The ugly truth

No. This is not, in any form, related to a movie where girls try to fit in to the perfect-girlfriend-material every boys would like to have.

This is just the truth speaking, and me in awe.

Twas one beautiful morning when I woke up in Yok han's arms. He was stroking my hair while I dream of shopping spree and body spa and massage. I was happy. Thinking that he's the first thing I will see in the morning as I open my eyes. He was staring at me lovingly, either I'm just exaggerating or what, I can feel all the love pouring down on me even while I'm still asleep.

We started the day by chatting all our stories off. He told me how his work was going and I spoke of how my training went on. I shared with him the good news with regards to my training, yes, I passed, and another good news. And then he broke what seemed to be like a fairy-tale-like with this question.

Yok: If you were to choose between writing for that magazine and your crazy airport fantasy, what would it be?

Me: Well, (clears throat), I can write as long as I can, writing has no age limit. I can write in the comfort of our house and earn money from that, I can write even if we already have a family. But in the airline industry, it's not the same. The lifestyle is not suitable for married couples, so I might as well spend my life there before we settle down right? As of present time, I can contribute for that magazine, but I'll be full time in the airport.

Yok: So you'll choose the airport?

Me: Yeah, right. Why?

Yok: Nothing.

The following scenarios weren't as clear as these dialogues. It just spurred out on me, I just got hit with that idea, that Yok was using that magazine as a metaphor on our relationship. What I have just said, was something like, I will just be contributing in our relationship because I need to be full time in my work. And in that moment I realized my impulse ideas, I felt really really sad. I didn't mean to make things look like that, but without saying a word, Yok Han seemed to have fully understood my priorities in life. As much as I wanted to take my words back, he won't buy it coz' I already have told the truth.


In the following days, weeks, months, and years, may we weather all the storm that will come upon us and stand tall at the end of that tunnel, standing beside each other, and making all our dreams come into reality.

What am I up to?

I'm super busy. Need I say more? Gah.

I've been lost in the cyberworld for two straight weeks; hasn't been able to check on my mails, social network accounts, post pictures and blog, pluck my eyebrows, shave my legs, read books and everything I could do before when I'm still bumming around.

Well technically, I don't have a job yet. I'm not employed yet. I'm still undergoing a very strenuous, mind-bugging, and challenging training I've never imagined I'll be on to. Where I am right now is not something I have planned way back when I was still young and whinny. Everything that is happening in my life is unplanned, unguarded and unexpected but hey, I'm learning and enjoying. I guess that's what I should do as of the moment, enjoy and be thankful.

I just wish and pray and cross my fingers that I'll be able to pass this training (but I'm quite confident that I'll be able to pass because of my three straight A's :) ) because if not, I dunno where's my next destination.

The grown up post

The title reflects my feelings for the past few days. Mainly because of...

1. I exercised my right to vote for the very first time.
2. I am so broke, and that means I should get a job.
3. I can't handle my emotions, and that means I should act like grown ups do.


Last May 10 marked my day as as 'official' adult as I voted for the person I believe and trust enough to lead this country. That day was of first times- first automated elections and first time to vote! Oh well, I congratulate the Comelec for having a really fast and efficient elections despite of some problems in some areas. True enough that we should not fear technology rather embrace it. The whole country is stunned by the fast election results. Everyone thought that election day would be a doom's day for Comelec, that the automated polls is doomed to fail. But that proved everyone wrong. Everyone is so scared and apprehensive of the new technology and wanted to go back to manual-inefficient-and-full-of-cheating counting. I guess everyone's eating their own words right now. I wonder how's that taste like? ;p

The only bad ass in the election process is the long and unorganized lines. Since it was my first time to vote I was excited to go to our precinct I asked my Mama and my Sister if we can vote early. We went to Humayao, our precinct, at around 9am, weary, tired, and pissed off people welcomed us into the school. Some of them are rummaging on thick papers finding for their precinct. Oh gad, they were just disorganized! Goodness! I came prepared so it would be hassle-free but these people, they make their lives complicated! Really! They can just look on their claim stubs or voter's id or check their precincts on Comelec's website. They were complicating theirselves because they follow what others do or believe on what others say. As we enter the school some angry and anguished people encourage us to go back home because the lines are chaotic blah, blah, blah. We didn't believe them otherwise proceed to what we're really ought to do. After an hour, we already finished the process. I was quite nervous that the PCOS machine wouldn't accept my ballot because my shadings were not perfect. Scared and excited as I child holding her first barbecue I deposited the paper in the machine and tada, "Congratulations, your vote has been registered."

Technology isn't that painful eh? We just have to go out of the cave and embrace it, shouldn't we?

The results are almost complete now and I'm still unhappy. Well, as a grown up (hee, pangagatawanan ko na to!) I have to understand that my vote is only one and majority wins still. I wish this country will be better under the Aquino administration. I will just do my part to help this country redeem its beaten pride. I will pay my tax, follow the traffic lights, segregate and throw properly my garbage, follow ordinances and laws, OBEY signage, support the country's tourism by deciding not to travel abroad within this year (Yay, more domestic tours!), partake on national issues by not abdicating my rights as a Filipino, and be a citizen journalist. A watchdog. A conveyor of truth.

Okay this sounds so grown up and so I'm tucking myself to bed tonight with milk and cookies by my side. ;p

What I felt inside that small white room

Cold.
White.
Cornered room.
Lady-like rendezvous.

Just
a.look.
among the crowd.
Shoot.

Ugly.
Dark.
Discriminated.
Unfairly treated.
Disregarded.
Neglected.
Insulted.
Half-baked.

I thought they wanted smart, skilled, and diligent workers in the industry but "that" proved me wrong. I'm just so disappointed and not satisfied with the kind of process my fellow Filipinos did! In the international industry, they are looking for both substance and form, sometimes average of form as long as a person is excellent and can positively contribute to the company. Oh well, I'd stop ranting now and focus all my energy to beach, sand, stars, flowers, and everything nice. The Universe will conspire with me if I'm positive.

I will try and try until I touch the sky! I can, I am and I will.