A sucker for knowledge

I don't want to be a sucker for life.

A psychologist slash guidance counselor said, in my exit interview, that it is okay to be a sucker because it forces you out of your comfort zone. She said that as jobs are hard to acquire these days, we have to be tough and content with the job that we are going to have and eat all the irons and shits our bosses will give us and be a sucker for life, if possible.

No, I don't want to do it. Not because I don't want to be reprimanded, cursed, manipulated or anything. I won't stay in a job that is not fulfilling. I won't stay in a job that beats the hell out of my sanity and gives me a below average pay. I won't stay in a job that does not help me to become better and experienced. It won't work for me.

My take is, it is okay if you are not happy and contented with what you are doing only if you are able to grow, to learn and gain something from it. But if none, you can cut it out your life. It is okay if you're not enjoying your job, but as long as you get something like superb knowledge from it and you become better in anything you're doing at..then suck it all off.

As I am finished with my internship and halfway through academic requirements, I realized more things that I wanted to achieve. I want to be better and when I say better it does not necessarily mean better values or morals. I want to a better communicator, writer, thinker and everything else in my mental faculties. Being surrounded by great and brilliant people at work inspires me to be one. Sometimes I really feel stupid and all that, haha! Yes I am insecure of my own self. I act weird whenever at work and maybe my superiors have no idea that I don't know what they are talking about. One time I sat with them for their story conference and I was quiet with a handful of ideas, yet I kept my mouth shut.

I was afraid to make mistakes. I was afraid that if I blurt out an idea it won't be welcomed. Because they are too brilliant to buy it.

Afterwards I realized that I shouldn't have acted that way. It was my only chance. It was the only chance I've got to prove I am as good as them. That I exists. Haha!

Oh well, can't take back the hands of time and so I promised myself that one day, I will walk down that hall with confidence and knowledge that they can use someone like me.

And that's me talking like a sucker, but hey, I would love to be a sucker for life, love and knowledge!